Lunacy Unleashed

The Coca-Cola Company will introduce a new advertising slogan in 2006, along with new energy drinks and sodas.

Next year, it will introduce Coca-Cola Blak, a coffee-flavored drink that will be marketed as an energy beverage and soda. Coca-Cola will also debut an advertising slogan, “Welcome to the Coke side of life,” in 2006. . . .

Coca-Cola Blak will debut in France in January and move into other countries, including the U.S., next year. . . .

The company continues to make new soft drinks. It is developing a citrus-flavored energy soda called Vault in addition to Coca-Cola Blak.

Earlier this year, the company introduced calorie-free Coca-Cola Zero, which tastes similar to Coca-Cola Classic, and it reformulated Diet Coke with Splenda sweetener.

Coca-Cola recently started selling black cherry vanilla-flavored Coke and Diet Coke and said it will stop selling Diet Coke with Lemon, Vanilla Coke and Diet Vanilla Coke because of weak demand. — Bloomberg News

You heard it here first.

The Coca-Cola Company is doing away with Vanilla Coke and Diet Vanilla Coke in the U.S. and the U.K. Diet Coke with Lemon will also be phased out in the U.S.

A spokesperson for Coca-Cola gave the usual B.S. about adjusting their product lines to quickly meet consumer demands.

In its place, at least in the U.S., will be Black Cherry Vanilla Coke and Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Coke. The U.K., lucky them, will finally get Diet Cherry Coke.

Excuse me? I wanted Vanilla Coke! If I wanted Cherry Coke, that’s what I would have ordered! I certainly don’t want them both! And if I did want them both, I’d mix them myself from the soda fountain.

I give it a year before Coca-Cola sees the error of its ways and brings back Vanilla Coke.